birth control should be required to get into college
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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