sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Panties = found
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
