oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
