pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
