so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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