i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
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My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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