Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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