Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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