All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
