glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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