I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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