I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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