omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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