Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
