I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
