Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
