So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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