Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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