I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
