I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
