Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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