And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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