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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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