What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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