hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize