he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
