it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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