I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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