He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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