party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
