i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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