Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
