I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
