He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
