I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
