And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
