you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
