Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
