we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
