bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
