OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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