Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
