I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
