I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
