Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
