Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Terrible idea I love it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
