you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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