Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
