yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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