I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
