he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
