She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
