i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
