i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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