How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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